Sunday, July 03, 2005

Quality of Life

First of all: RIP, Lumpy. Our beloved, belumped goldfish has shuffled off this mortal coil. He had that godawful tumor, and it just kept getting bigger, and finally yesterday it sort of exploded. And then we found him in Acute Piscine Distress there in the tank, sort of folded over a spear of whatever that plant is we have growing in there, and shortly thereafter he ceased movement altogether and expired.

He was a happy fish, despite his challenges, and we will miss him.

Once we have boiled his gravel and rinsed his plants, we will find a new resident for his tank. Life goes on.

In other life, comma, quality of, comma, not otherwise specified issues: one of the cats, the most geriatric of all, Beany (age 16), has decided that the area directly in front of the litterbox is where all the really cool cats pee.

I have to say I don't quite agree with him, and were he a younger and more manually dexterous cat I would have pressed the roll of paper towels and the bottle of Stink-B-Gone into his hairy little paws and made him clean up the mess. Which naturally pooled beneath the laundry machines, necessitating the moving of both thereof, in the smallest laundry room imaginable. Oh, the horror.

Now, however, I am back to my usual jolly self, skipping to and fro in my flower-patterned housedress humming a merry tune. Why? Because, friends, I have discovered the magic of the Wee-Wee Pad. (Okay, I don't buy the brand name, but Wee-Wee Pad is way funnier sounding than "whichever pad is cheapest.") This is a puppy-training aid in the form of an absorbent pad with a waterproof-backing, about 22 inches square, and available at your more savvy mega-pet-supply-barns. At a mere 30 cents a pop when bought in bulk, these little darlings have so improved my outlook on life in general and the laundry room specifically, such that I am considering taking out newspaper ad space to thank the company personally. You just place one like so, in front of the litterbox, and once it is soiled, voila! You just roll it up and toss it, place another down, and you're on your way!

Disclaimer: ...Yes, I realize that disposable pet pads are on par with disposable diapers inasmuch as those of us using them are killing the environment with landfills chock full of nonbiodegradable convenience items -- but if you'd spent as much time in our itty-bitty stuffy little utility room, shoving laundry machines around in pools of crystallizing cat pee when you had way rather been watching "NCIS," you'd be hotfooting it down to the local We Be Pets 'N Stuff just like I was. End disclaimer.

Back to computer gaming! I have so earned it by entertaining the small one while the wife snoozed away her afternoon in blissful napitude. She had a headache... Now I have one... is this fair?!

1 comment:

Liz said...

I'm sorry about your fish, how old was he anyway? I had a friend whose cat was trained to use the toilet, think Beanie is too old for that? I have GOT to call you, just spent ten days with the mother-in-law, many, many stories to share!
Take care!