Saturday, September 15, 2007

Exhaustive List (Warning: v. boring)

So it turns out that going to nursing school requires a great deal of preparation.

Firstly, the prerequisite courses of microbiology, nutrition, psychology (human development), three terms of anatomy & physiology, chemistry, math, etc. Fortunately I was excused from several courses, having already completed them for my bachelor’s, and now they are all behind me. Got all A’s but one term of A&P, wherein I received a "B." (golf clap here)

Secondly, the Certified Nurse Assistant course and certification exam must be completed also. I did that in the spring.

And then once you are at last accepted, they send a fat little packet of materials with a lengthy list of yet more things to take care of before your first day of class. Indeed, at least one week or more before your first day of class. Or else.

1. Send Euphemism College a check for two hundred bucks to show that you are in earnest about attending their program. Do it soon or they will give away your spot to some other schlub. Done.

2. Submit a money order for 18 bucks, a short letter detailing why you need a background check, and a set of your fingerprints (taken at the local cop shop by a burly, bored cop for ten bucks cash only) to the FBI. Do it now as it takes 3 to 4 months to get your clearance. Done.

3. Turn your head and cough! Physical exam and immunizations time. MMR, two TB tests, hepatitis vaccines, tetanus and chicken pox shots. Good thing I have health insurance. I’ll schedule this closer to the start date.

4. Take CPR (Healthcare Provider Level). I’m trying to see if work will cover this one or part of it since I have to take general adult CPR for my job anyway. This agency has become rather tight with a buck so I’m thinking no. But it’s worth a try.

5. Apply for financial aid. Ha! I don’t qualify anyway. But, done.

6. Attend mandatory orientation when commanded to.

7. Blah blah blahdey blah blah. It goes on and on. Sign this, buy that, etc.

Next, there is the supply list. A well-prepared Nursing Student will have, prior to the first day of clinicals (i.e. indentured slavery at some facility or hospital):

1. White scrub top and pants, white shoes, white lab coat with Euphemism College Nursing Program patches – have top already from CNA course, hope the college permits Croc type shoes…

2. Stethoscope

3. Black pen -- oh, I have thousands of these. But an excuse to run out and buy retractable black gel ink pens? Sweet!!!

4. Watch with second hand - given to me for my birthday by an extremely thoughtful friend whose mom is a nurse, or I guess now she is retired

5. Nursing student photo ID (available at bookstore after orientation)

6. Large loose-leaf notebook – got it.

7. Textbooks

8. Rolling backpack recommended - already ordered off internet

9. Parking permit for campus

10. Several 9x12 manila envelopes for submitting assignments

So, the next few months will be spent doing/obtaining all the things I need to do/have to prepare, and all the other things I won't be doing while in school: hanging out with the family, reading for fun, playing World of Warcraft until my eyes bleed, etc.


Elizabeth said...

Wow, that is a lot of paperwork! Maybe when it's all done you'll end up with a chinese baby too!
:o) Elizabeth (in Alaska)

MarkW said...

Way to Go Impetua!

Congrats on your adventure into Nursing School! A friend of mine is in the tail end of Oriental medicine school and has started clinic work as an intern. It won’t be too long before you are an indentured servant, err intern too.

If you decide to cut back on your Warcraft hours, be sure to it in stages. The withdrawl symptoms are really bad.