Ahem! All right, people, listen up!
When visiting the toddler play area at the mall, please observe the following rules:
1. If your child is, like, two feet over the height restriction, please do not permit him/her and the pack of his/her friends to run amok among the toddlers, bashing them to the ground left right and center.
2. Please require your child to retain his/her socks and thus not place his/her grimy feet that have been God knows where all over the play structures that innocent toddlers such as my own will be touching with their hands. Their hands, which will be entering their mouths at some point. And also touching my stuff. Eeeuw!
3. If your child insists on jumping over the banquette and thus out of the germ farm, please remove him/her immediately. Like my kid needs to learn to jump over the banquette by watching your kid do it, repeatedly.
4. Kindly do not drop your (overage, overheight) child(ren) off at the play area to hang out, bored and unsupervised, while you shop or whatever. They clutter up the place and make it that much harder to see my own kid, who of course insists in playing right where I can't see her, no matter where I sit.
5. Better yet, go the hell home.
Grouchy Shopper with PMS and Recalcitrant Child.