An Occasional Game

At our house, we like to play an amusing little game we like to call, "What Is That Smell?"

Recently I bought some packages of chicken and one of them went bad before the sell-by date. I thought it was the other package, which I had opened and used some of, so I threw the remainder of that package away. But the bad smell? Continued. Ugh.

So I searched in vain for more bad meats thinking, it can't be the other package of chicken. But it was. I returned it to the store and got a refund. Bad batch, pulled from shelf, sorry for the inconvenience, etc.

Returned home -- there is still a smell. What the...?! I spend all day sniffing around here and there, inside cupboards, drawers, poking around the kitchen. It smells like sour milk. Maybe the baby has stashed a sippy cup somewhere unusual? I look everywhere. Nothing.

Finally I want a glass of ice water and I go to the fridge which has an ice and water dispenser in the door. The smell is strong here. I glance downward. "HONEY!" I call out, joyfully -- "I FOUND THE BAD SMELL!" J bounds over, giddy with relief that our ordeal is all but over. I wave a hand at the dispenser. "Look!"

Someone -- and I think we all know whom, exactly -- has poured MILK into the little grate under the ice and water dispensers. The grate which covers a shallow well with no drain in it, meant merely to catch what little drips of water or chips of ice may fall while dispensing. The milk has become sour and horrible and practically pulsates with evilness.

Because I have the least sensitive gag reflex, I am elected to clean the mess up. It requires a spoon to remove the scummy, bubbly scab of nastiness, then a sponge and bucket of soapy water to wash out the remaining vile liquid, then a strong household cleaner to finish off the whole cleaning process. I somehow cut myself on the edge of the well and wonder what &%$#@ing moron designs something like this with razor-sharp edges, knowing that it will require occasional cleaning under more typical usage, i.e. even if no-one is pouring milk into it.

My strong constitution plus my mad ninja cleaning skills earn me dinner out.