How I'll Spend My Spring Vacation

Big plans!

1. Clean house. House is filthy shithole, fit for pigs or similar. Drifts of animal hair threatening to obscure television from view. For obvious reasons, this is unacceptable.
2. Take baby rollerskating for the first time in her tender young life. (Note to self: locate leftover bubble wrap and duct tape before next Weds.)
3. Take day trip to beach. If tradition holds, choose rainiest day in recent history. Has baby gotten over irrational fear of sand?
4. Clean more of house, including scraping rings out of bathtub, chipping Mysterious Residue off any window the baby can reach, and sifting through bushel baskets of mail.
5. Obsessively prepare New and Improved Notebook of Doom for next term. Have decided to keep current NoD filled with 1st Quarter class materials. (Why? Who knows. Perhaps I'll need them someday?)
6. Play World of Warcraft until my eyes dry up and fall out of my head. Repeat as often as tolerated by Better Half.
7. Get off slothful (and expanding) butt and resume healthful gym activity. Can now almost grip things with Finger of Doom! And let's not forget Livestrong Ride coming up.
8. Ooh, speaking of which, must call and get therapy for same. Can only bend partway, and hurts like... well, like something that hurts a lot.
9. Take baby to library, zoo, museum, and anywhere else she likes.
10. Did I mention cleaning and other types of home maintenance? Including, but not limited to: dusting, vacuuming, cleaning rugs, tackling Mt. Washmore, sorting forty bazillion toys into their respective storage units, wiping down kitchen cupboards (ours are white, and we have a not quite 4 year old... yeah, it's not pretty), cleaning chicken coop, mowing lawn, bunny cage, bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
11. Drink heavily; hire housekeeper. (okay, just wishful thinking)
11. Take baby to soccer practice! Am soccer mom now!
12. Work on weekends as usual

That about sums it up.

First Grade Posted

I got an A in 112! Yay!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So I missed the Danskin Triathlon registration for the Seattle tri and have been silently suffering ever since.

Today I got an email. They have a new race. Another tri in the series.

It's at freaking DISNEYLAND.

I want to go so bad it hurts, but no way can I afford it. It would cost me like a thousand dollars to go do this thing, and I don't need to do it. But oh lordy, I want to.

Two Down

Got an 89 on my final today. I might, just maybe, squeek an A in that class, but it's gonna be close either way so I'm not holding my breath.

Tomorrow morning I take my last final (my final final?) for first term -- one term down, five to go! I suspect I could get an A in this class (112, "Introduction to Mental Health Concepts") but again, hard to tell.

Worst case scenario: B's in all classes that get letter grades, pass in the lab and clinicals.

Best case scenario: a B in 113 ("Professional Nursing Skills I"), A in 110 ("Foundations of Professional Nursing"), A in 112, pass in the lab and clinicals.

Not bad work, Grasshopper.

One down, plus: occupational terrorists

Took my nursing assessment final yesterday.

First off let me just say that performance testing freaks me out big time. I just hate being observed. It took me four tries to get my driver's license, and why? Sheer nerves. My heart pounds, my mouth dries out, my hands shake, I break out in a sweat. It's ridiculous.

That being said, I did pass all my skill check-offs on the first try, which I attribute mostly to sheer dumb luck. I did not realize that most of my peers failed at least one of them at some point, until someone asked me about it and I blithely admitted that I hadn't failed any of them. This drew many cold stares and whiny "OMG I totally hate you"s from the rest of the table.

Anyways I passed my final with a "B." The test was administered by my clinicals instructor. He's a decent guy which made it less intimidating. Unfortunately, I misunderstood some crucial instruction beforehand: he went down the list of points to cover in the assessment and told us which ones not to chart, but I thought he meant not to even assess those. So I probably would have squeaked an A on the final had I understood that correctly.

Then he returned my patient presentation, on which we all got B's. Mostly due to a boatload of minor APA formatting errors. I am totally going to get the APA formatting software. This will eliminate most of those errors out of hand.

So, I'll probably get a B in that class. I had good module scores, probably a low A, but the B on the paper and the B on the final will bring me to a B.

In other news: I saw the finger doctor Tuesday. Mr. Smug Physician's Assistant was somewhat more bearable. He clucked disapprovingly when I showed him my still-swollen, stiff, non-bending finger, and proceeded to grab it and try to bend it for me. This sound emerged from my mouth, entirely unbidden from me: "NGGGGAAAAAHHHHH!" The Finger of Doom did not bend. "So," he says cheerfully, "you need to go see the occupational terrorists! And this is gentle compared with what they will do to you!" I swear there was a subliminal "MUWAHAHAHAHA!" Evil Maniac laugh in there too but only I could hear it. The other people in the office did not call security as they certainly should have done.

I am supposed to be warming my finger up for ten minutes or so using a hot compress, then using my other hand to bend the finger, then slapping a cold pack on it -- oh and eating ibuprofen like candy -- but this would interfere pretty severely with my gaming and blogging time. Ah, priorities...

Last class!

Just walked out of my last class of the quarter! SWEET!!!!

Now I have left: 2 module tests (got 95 on the one I took yesterday, thank you, please hold your applause), the head to toe, and two finals next week.

Then I was talking to a friend from 2nd quarter and she told me, I should go directly for master's right away because starting in 2013 you'll have to have a doctorate to be a nurse practitioner instead of a master's. So, I'll be contacting that advisor over at Hyperbole University RIGHT AWAY!!!

By the way, in high school when I was attending a health occupations magnet program I said I would never be a nurse. And when I started nursing school a scant three months ago I said I'd never be a nurse practitioner.

I think it's time I said it: I'll never be a millionaire! And, um, I'll never travel the world! And I'll never ever get a brand new BMW motorcycle and ride around like I'm super badass! Never!!

Pee body

When Delia was a baby I liked to call her Peabody when she had a wet diaper. Come here ya little Peabody, I'd say. Once, when she was suffering from some weird throwing up problem (her only real illness aside from a few snotty head colds) I got to use a little stick-on external catheter to try to get a teeny, tiny urine sample from her. The throwing up problem went away a couple of days later, but I'll treasure that memory forever... NOT.

Anyway, you might be asking yourself, "I wonder what this might be leading up to?"

Well, today I signed off on my final skill for this term. Inserting a Foley catheter.

Those of you who are super fortunate may not realize that when you are very ill, have lengthy surgery, break your entire pelvis, whatever, those evil people at the hospital will stick a hose into your whatnot for the purpose of letting you pee into a bag. Pray that this never happens to you, if only to avoid the off chance that some ham-handed nursing student will get a shot at "practicing their skills" on your bits and pieces.

For the purposes of lab practice, we use anatomically correct manikins. They feature interchangeable personal regions. So, Mr. Ken Dahl might become Ms. Anastasia Beaverhausen (my personal favorite made up name which I totally stole from Will & Grace) with a brisk riiiiiiiiiiiiiip of velcro. Both genders feature simplified, large-bore openings so that the hapless moron student can get an idea of what they're up against come the revolution. The visual on this can be, trust me, a bit disturbing the first time, but after a bit we all become accustomed to the "squishy bits" looking (in the case of the male manikin part) somewhat realistic in a rubbery way, but with a gigantic opening at the end, or (in the case of the female manikin part) gapingly horrifying and with perfectly round openings in appropriate places. You can get used to anything, it seems.

At any rate, this skill is due by next Tuesday, so like good little students the smarter ones among us (and here I include myself, modestly) have taken care of this early. The lab does get lousy with students toward a deadline and the lab instructors are less than sympathetic to our cries and pleas. They shut the lab promptly and go home with clear consciences. We were given these deadlines the first week of the term.

Three more module tests, the head to toe, and two finals. Go us!

Head to toe assessment

My good friend Elizabeth (I'll link her blog when I get home where the handy bookmark is) gave me a nice synopsis of the head-to-toe assessment on manikins we'll be doing for our final a week from now:

"Plastic.

Plastic.

More of a vinyl type here with squishy bits.

Lots of squishy bits.

Anatomically correct vinyl.

Plastic again.

Plastic."

This will totally help me get an A! Thanks, Elizabeth!

Two more weeks!

So, two weeks from now I'll be studying for my last final of this term. Gah!!!

And, this Thursday is my last clinical for this term.

A week after that we do our head-to-toe assessment on a manikin as a final for clinicals.

Then finals week begins and I'll have two and a half weeks off.

And then it starts all over again.

Good times!

Bummer :(

I've been so depressed about this I haven't been able to blog about it. But here goes.

I missed the online registration for the Danskin triathlon.

It was Feb. 26th, and in the past it seemed to be available for some time, so I wasn't too worried about doing it first thing in the morning. But then when I logged on and tried to register around 5pm... it was already closed. :( It was entirely possible to register by mail or fax beforehand, but I had never had any trouble registering online before, so that's what I was going to do this year too.

The triathlon was a huge part of my summer last year, and this year I talked two of my friends into going. I was so excited about it. And they both got registered... and I didn't.

I'm still excited, I am going to go with them and be their support crew -- but I'm so, so, so bummed about not getting to participate.

I realize that as Real Problems go, this is not a very big deal. But I'm still bummed.

Livestrong Ride

Here in the Pacific Northwest we're having the Lance Armstrong Foundation Livestrong Ride on June 29th. It is a fundraiser for the LAF which raises money for cancer research.

Last year I completed the 40-mile route of this ride (Alone and in the rain! And I fell down and I kept on going!) and this year -- this year, my people, I'm doing the SEVENTY mile route! The forty-miler from last year was the longest ride I'd ever done, so I'm seriously upping the ante this year. And part of why I chose to do that was hearing about Stacey.

If you would like to help me reach -- or ideally EXCEED -- my fundraising goal of five hundred dollars, please let me know by sending me a private message here on Multiply.

Stacey, my butt will be hurting all day on June 30th JUST FOR YOU!!!!

Leap

So tonight we're going to a birthday party for our dear friend Lil' Jeffy, whose birthday is Leap Year Day. Therefore he has a "real" birthday only once every four years, making him eight birthdays old. Do the math and you might surmise that he is in fact 32. I don't really remember him turning 30, so this came as a shock to me.

I dearly love his parents though I have not been able to look his mom in the eye since he told me that story about the time he came home unexpectedly early, bounded up the stairs, and found ... well, you just shouldn't do that sort of thing in the den, is all I'm sayin'.

Went in to school this morning to take a module test and also to finish up a couple of assignments. Got it all done and with a 100 on the module test, even. Yay me!

A fellow student whom I met at that dinner thingy a while back informed me today that the general consensus among students in her term (she is one term ahead of me) is that whether you put in a ton of work on your patient presentation, or not so much, you'll still get a B on it. So I'm kinda glad I just-over-half-assed it. No sense spending hours and hours agonizing over it if I'm still just gonna get a B.

One word is enough

1. Where is your cell phone? counter
2. Your toe nails? adequate
3. Your hair? moppy
4. Your mother? superlative
5. Your father? clueless
6. Your favorite thing? daughter
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? coke
9. Your dream/goal? Nurse
10. The room you're in? diningroom
11. Your fear? disaster
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? prosperous
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? mature
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? housekeeper
17. Where you grew up? Oregon
18. The last thing you did? exam
19. What are you wearing? splint
20. Your TV? dvd
21. Your pets? numerous
22. Your computer? darling
23. Your life? chaotic
24. Your mood? fatigued
26. Your car? zoomzoomzoom
27. Something you're not wearing? earrings
28. Favorite Store? book
29. Your summer? active
30. Your favorite color? blue
31. When is the last time you laughed? today
32. Last time you cried? Tuesday
33. Who will/would re-post this? anyone :)

Finger of Doom

So today I took off my splint for a while, to give The Finger of Doom (TFoD) some air time. The snotty physician's assistant who saw me at the fracture clinic told me I should start doing some occasional easy bending type motions right about now, but I think he should just f*ck straight off, is what I think. Stupid thing is STILL bruised and very stiff, and bending it still hurts. So yeah. I don't think so.

Module test today, score 95. Yay me!

Also met with advisor. Hyperbole University evidently has not only an RN-to-Bachelor's degree program, but also an RN-straight-to-Master's degree for people such as myself, who have for example an all but useless BA in Nothingness Studies from Hunormous State University. So, my next step is to investigate that a bit on the website and then contact yet another advisor, this time a HU one and not the Euphemism College one I saw today. I could start knocking out the prereq's this summer. I believe I may have to take some statistics classes, which should not be a problem owing to my gigantic cranial capacity. Ha, ha, ha. Actually I did take some statistics years ago and I found that if you had a basic grasp of algebra, you could plug-n-chug your way through it without too much trouble. So, yay! Summer classes.....

What sucks more than clinicals?

Clinicals with a gnarly head cold, when you went to bed miserable at 10:30pm and woke up even more miserable with a wicked bad headache at 2am and never did get back to sleep. That's what sucks more than clinicals, which really only suck because of the whole getting up at 4am thing. Seriously, I took some ibuprofen but by the time my head stopped hurting, it was 3am, and I wasn't sleepy, and so I ended up just staying up.

Needless to say, once I got home I played around with Delia for a bit and then hit the sheets.

Speaking of whom, she woke up dry this morning so this afternoon we gave her a present: a hoppity-hop. Super, super cute to watch her boinging around the house on it!

So tomorrow morning after preschool I'm taking her down to my brother's for the weekend so I can write my patient presentation, which is sort of a term paper that counts for a significant portion of my grades this term. I'm not terribly freaked out about the paper, but it'll just be a lot easier to complete it without a three-year-old milling about the place. Plus, it's more than an hour's drive each way, which means uninterrupted Harry Potter on cd listening time! Yay!

Misery, misery

Is what nursing school is to me...

Actually, it's going pretty well, I'm just tired of having this broken finger, and now just in case I wasn't sufficiently burdened with school, work, home etc., I also have a rotten cold. I started getting sick last Thursday -- even to the point that I got sent home early from clinicals whic Just Does Not Happen -- and spent all weekend languishing at home feeling crappy. Took the weekend off from work and all that, to no avail. The snotty nose and sneezing and watery eyes started yesterday. If it weren't for Alka Seltzer Sinus Formula cold menu I don't know how I would have managed today. I have clinicals tomorrow and I'm hoping he'll let me hang around in the learning lab and stay the hell away from the fragile old folks who just don't need my cold.

As it was, I had to take the usual module tests this week (scores of 88, 90 and 85) and IV skills checkoff was today also. It's not due for a while yet but we've found that it's not wise to wait until the last minute. The lab gets all choked up with students and the wait times are unreal.

Aside from that all is about how you'd expect -- house an utter sty, friends neglected, etc. I did manage to wash the cars (exteriors only, alas) the other day when the weather was nice.

Delia is in the final stages of potty training -- she's been waking up dry! So tonight for the first time ever, she's going to bed with NO PULL-UP! I thought I'd give her the option, and she is going for it! If she pulls this off, she gets a present! And we'll save another fifteen bucks a month that we won't have to spend on pull-ups! Yay us!

Checking in

Okay, so I haven't blogged in ages. Partly this is because of my stupid broken finger, which I have gotten used to enough to type reasonably well. Also I have been quite busy. It turns out that nursing school is like a one way trip down an elevator shaft straight into hell. Yay hell!

We have two or three module tests per week, plus assignments, and skill checkoffs, and blah blah blah. It's crazy nuts. But my module tests are going well -- mostly 85's and up, with a couple of 75's (still passing!).

Then there's also involvement in the Euphemism College Student Nurse Club, which we are told is very impressive in one's portfolio, so I've become Assistant Flyers/Communication Officer, and attended a dinner about clinical trials put on by the Lymphoma Society, as well as the weekly ECSNC meetings. (Once the Army showed us a very compelling video and fed us pizza and plied us with pens and lanyards and so forth.)

In a couple of weeks we start training for the Medical Reserve Corps, which is one of those prepared-citizen-do-gooders groups that they mobilize during emergencies. They puffy heart having nurses and even lowly nursing students in these things, because odds are we might not actually harm anyone in administering first aid. In exchange for our involvement we get an extremely unattractive royal blue tshirts and baseball hats emblazoned with "Total Dork."

Last night I signed on to World of Warcrack, against all better judgement what with the homework load I have, and got sucked into Kara (an instance -- you non WoW players won't understand any of this) and despite the fact that I'm a total casual player still wearing a couple of greens and have only entered Kara a couple of times and totally on the coattails of other, better, more deserving players, I still received this fabulous bow when we downed one of the bosses. I am not worthy!

Not much else to tell. Delia is doing great, full of piss and vinegar as always, and sporting a curly little hairdo after her first ever haircut a couple of weeks ago.

Mom, there's some stuff you should have known

Courtesy of Vonnie (I'll get you for this!) :)

Uh, Mom? Please never read this.

1. Remember when you dropped me off at a friend's house for a party? I had a bag of record albums, she lived a couple of blocks away, I directed you to a house with lights on and an open garage door? Yeah, I didn't know whose house it was, the girl was real but she lived somewhere else and wasn't having a party, and really what happened was that I slipped away after you'd driven off (mental note: always wait until the kid goes into the house before driving off). I went over and caught a bus to the mall and met a boy there who I didn't want anyone to know about because I already had a steady boyfriend. Eventually you found out about him because I told you, but I never did tell you about that first time I met up with him. Who knew I could be so devious! I'm boggling about it, this many years later.

(I'd met him at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. We dated off and on for a couple of years. He was a country boy with a car and permissive parents and oozed good natured bad boy charm, and I don't really regret any of it. :) Obviously this was before I came out.)

2. I can't really think of anything else because I was a Good Kid and there wasn't much else I did that you didn't already know about, like senior skip day, where you thought it was funny wrote me an excuse the next day, or that you didn't already find out about, i.e. various tattoos.

In your face, bad girls! My conscience is clean! I tag... Mel and Elizabeth.

mememememe

1. What time did you get up this morning ?
7:30, when my little alarm clock woke me up. Sure beat yesterday when I had to get up at 4:30 for Clinicals at 5:45.

2. Diamonds or Pearls ?
Meh. I like colored stones -- tanzanite, sapphires, emeralds.

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies?
Took Delia to see Ratatouille.

4.. What is your favorite TV show?
NCIS, and old sitcoms.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Toast, or cereal, whatever.

6. What is your middle name?
Ready for this? It's.... (suspenseful interest-building pause here)... Lee.

7. What food(s) do you dislike?
Spicy hot foods. Ugh.

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
I don't even remember the last time I listened to a CD that wasn't Harry Potter.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Lil' blue Mazda Protege5 which I love, and a Chevy Trailblazer which I also love.

10. Favorite sandwich?
Roast beef -- the yummy juicy kind that's pink in the middle -- on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato, a little mayo, a fair amount of horseradish, a little dijon, maybe some nice sharp cheddar.

11. What characteristics do you despise?
Jerky people who only suck up when they want something from you, and arrogant people.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
My crocs! And this orange plaid long sleeve button down shirt I've had forever that's getting a little frayed.

13. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go?
Spain.

14. What color is your bathroom?

The hall bath is blue with a cartoony dog/cat print shower curtain, it's kind of cute. The master bath is still resplendent in its original horrible 80's wallpaper, poorly applied by the previous owner

15. Favorite brand of clothing?
I do like Columbia Sportswear, also some Old Navy, beyond that it doesn't matter.

16. Where would you retire?
Close to my daughter. Close enough to be there and far enough away to not bug her too much.

17 Most memorable birthday?
Turned 40 last fall which was fun. Not the beach weekend boozefest I was hoping for, but fun. A number of years ago I had a birthday dinner with a lot of friends who happened to be choir singers and they serenaded me quite beautifully with the birthday song several times which stands out in my mind.

18. Favorite Sport to watch?
I don't watch 'em.

19. Summer or Winter?

Summer summer summer summersummersummersummer SUMMER!!!!!!!

20. Who do you expect to repost this?
Anybody who wants to... have at it, guys.

21. Person you most admire?
My mom. She rocks.

22. Favorite saying?
Better out than in, I always say...

Also, "Success is my only motherf*cking option." That will get me through nursing school.

23. When is your birthday?

Sept. 7th, when all the really cool people have their birthdays.

24. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night, but I can fake being a morning person quite well.

25. What is your shoe size?
About a 9... but I have to wear a 10 because of my orthotics. :(

26. Pet?
Oh, thousands... 2 each of: dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens and goldfish.

27. What did you want to be when you were little?
I don't really remember. An artist, a writer, I guess.

28. What are you doing today?
Working.

29. What is your favorite candy?
Peanut butter Twix, lately.

30. What is your favorite flower?
Gerber daisy for me, too!

31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?

Spring break, then summer break, etc. :)

32. What church/temple do you attend?
United Church of Christ. We are a peaceable bunch.

33. What are you listening to right now?
TV in the other room.

34. What was the last thing you ate?
PB sandwich, dinner here was something I'm allergic to.

35. Do you believe in Angels?
Not sure.

36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Purple, the dark blue purple kind.

37. What are your pet peeves?
If somebody leaves the empty milk jug on the counter for ME to rinse out.

38. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
J.

39. Favorite soft drink?
Coke omg cooooooooooooke

40. Favorite restaurant?
This Vietnamese and Thai place down the road a bit.

41. Hair Color?
Sigh... I've been asked if it "used to be" red. Yes, it did. Not so much anymore, apparently.

42. Siblings?
One brother.

43. Favorite day of the year?
Any day I get to spend with my daughter.

46. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs.

47. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate. But vanilla ice cream.

48. Do you want your friends to repost this?
If they haven't already.

49. When was the last time you cried?
When I broke my finger last Sunday.

50. What is under your bed?
Just some art paper in a plastic snap-lid box, and a zippered clear plastic bag with a couple blankets in it, and a few dust bunnies.

51. Who is the friend you've had longest?
Who I still am in contact with semi regularly? Probably Graham, husband to Elizabeth.

52. What did you do last night?
Loafed.

53. Favorite smell?

Baking smells, like apple pie.

54. What are you afraid of?
Messing up my kids.

55. How many keys on your key ring?
Two cars plus house.

56. How many years at your current job?
Been with this agency off and on since 1991.

57. Favorite day of the week ?
Friday, the only day I have totally off.

58. How many towns have you lived in ?
Um... Looks like 8.

That's all folks!

Nursing school update

This week:

Took more module tests, scores were good -- an 85, and a 92? I have to start writing this stuff down. The 85 was on a test that everyone said was hard, so I felt okay about that.

Passed my IM injection skills check-off. With a broken finger. That I didn't know yet was broken.

Got back some homework: scores 20/20 and 28/30.

Completed my Clinicals and did the homework immediately, classmate who was going in anyway turned it in for me, thus saving me a trip up to the campus.

Coming up: module test due Monday, another Tuesday, another Friday. Gah.